Giving Up

I have never considered myself a quitter. I have had many stressful situations and have always managed to pull through. However, I am at the end of my rope. I have been there once before and it was frightening. Well, apparently it wasn't that bad because Im right back there again. I hate my majors. I've realized over the past couple quarters that I have come to really HATE them. As in every day I wake up and wish I could simply sleep my days away without worrying about them. I can't stand arabic. I dread class, feel like a moron when I get in there, hate doing the homework, and would rather lose my arm than take the exams. Then poli sci I'm left falling asleep, getting theories confused, and generally being bored. So now I sit with 2 majors that I hate learning and wondering why the hell I do it. Oh thats right...I like the idea of what I can do after college, the only problem being I can't seem to get out of college alive. I want an exciting job where I make good money and generally enjoy myself. I can't stand the thought of a desk job but it's lookin pretty damn good compared to what Im in currently.

I hate the thought of having to face people and say I'm no longer doing what I set out to do. I can just hear the snide remarks and snickers. Most of all I will never hear the end of it from my mother. I will constantly be reminded of what a failure I am and I don't know how I'll handle that. But it won't be the first time nor the last I dare say so I might as well save myself a little bit of sanity right? lol So now Im thinking I'll go back to my roots, the last language I really enjoyed and was good at: german. I really do like that language, I liked learning it, I liked speaking it. All of it...I loved it. Then I'd have to pair something with it so the best I can figure is international business. I want something international where I can work with lots of different people. My current majors would have allowed me to do that but if I drop them I need to have semi-decent replacements. So thats what Im thinking, german and international business. We'll see...first I just have to survive this quarter.