It is official: December, I will be a college graduate. Thank You God! It's amazing how fast time goes; I still remember high school very well, my grand ambitions (none of which I lived up to) and then my downward spiral. Am I sounding like Britney Spears? lol Poor girl, she's getting there.
Given the random stupidity I am prone to, it didn't turn out too bad. I have my little boy that I wouldn't trade for anything and I figure if I hadn't acted so stupid along the way, I never would have had him. I would have changed a few things I did after finding out I was pregnant but that's besides the point. I'm here now and at least I can say I screwed up plenty but still managed to do something decent in life. I was happy to see my high school chapter come to a close and while I've been looking forward to the college chapter also closing, it brings to the forefront of my mind that I'm still rather clueless as to what I'm doing. Well, maybe clueless isn't quite the word I'm looking for; I have a clue what I want, just not sure how to get there from here.
I'm looking at law; it's something I think I would genuinely enjoy and make decent money practicing. So then I'm left looking at what type of law. I like international law, the entire topic fascinates me, but I'm not sure what kind of job I could get with that. I've considered corporate law mainly because of job stability and a decent pay check. Admittedly, I don't know a whole lot about the actual practice; that's something I'd have to learn as I go. Finally, I've been looking at an area I never really considered before but maybe I'd reconsider...criminal law. What really opened me to that was actually the poli sci course I'm taking right now and my teacher so eloquently put, "Some people just need killing." I thought about it and said yep. It reminded me of the musical/movie, Chicago where they sing, "He had it comin'..." Sometimes people are killed and it's wrong absolutely and I doubt I could ever defend someone who went into an office and just went on a killing spree but I could defend the spouse of a deceased person who later hunted that guy out and killed him. Yeah I know, you don't repay violence with violence, it doesn't work, but damnit I would understand it and I could stand there and do everything possible to make sure that person didn't end up in prison. So there would be another interesting avenue.
Right now I'm job hunting for something part time that would hold me over for a while. I am pretty much out of money, trying to raise my son (although my mom provides pretty much everything, shes running out of money too) and of course his sperm donor provides absolutely nothing to help. Boo is seventeen months old, 17, and nitwit hasn't provided so much as a box of diapers for him. It's infuriating really. So he has a job and customizes car parts while I have to go job hunting so I can buy my son things like diapers, milk, clothes, etc.
Anyways, life just seems sort of up in the air as I wait for next fall to hopefully get into law school. That gives me a year to finish up my undergraduate, find a job and save some money. Oh that's right, I don't have enough money to save because whatever I do save goes to the attorney! HA! Oh the ironies of life... I did actually look at domestic law if only because I can so understand the frustrations of the system, the injustices that occur and the prejudices one faces on day one. My mom though told me I would go absolutely crazy. I wouldn't be able to deal with it if only because I would take too much of it to heart and not be able to keep it as "just work." The more I thought of it, the more I realized she was right. I especially couldn't deal with a "father" who would come to me wanting custody of his child when he obviously didn't give a rip...someone like nitwit. I'd probably scream and physically throw them out of my office. Then I'd need another attorney for assault charges and who knows what. lol S0 I scratched that idea but criminal is looking very interesting.
So there's my ramblings on my current life. I only have a plan through December so I'm still working on having things a little more certain. Ah one day at a time...
