Therapy

I swear, men and I just don't seem to mix very well. It's like, I find one and I want him but he doesn't want me, or I find one I want, he claims to want me but then acts like an ass, or I find one that wants me and I don't want him. What happened to me finding someone I want who likewise wanted me in the same manner? I must be asking too much.

I honestly thought I had found the last one, maybe with a few quirks, but there nonetheless. Well, shows what I know. lol He reminds me of Katy Perry's song, Hot N Cold. It fits him quite well actually. So we got in a spat, I felt he was hitting on a friend of mine (I don't care what he says, he was...offering to pay for a plane ticket to fly a person down to see you is flirting) so I told him I thought it was interesting to say the least. The weekend he can't come see me he suddenly invites a friend of mine to go see him. Fishy...and I've asked around, I'm not the only one that sees it that way.

So I brought that up, I was direct but not nasty. Damn did he bite my head off. He told me it was none of my business what he was doing. Well that was definitely the wrong response. He could have said I had it all wrong, it wasn't really like that, at least come up with some excuse but saying it was none of my business certainly didn't make it seem any less fishy. Then he referred to me (and my friend) as fucking idiots, really just told me off. All this shit he rants about and then says, "go fuck ur self and go ask her to fuck her as well." Really. I was initially in shock and then started to cry. (I seem to cry a lot with him, pathetic I know.) I would never ever tell someone I cared about to go fuck themselves...ever. I wouldn't even say that to my dogs. Here was someone I was looking at as a potential spouce (I certainly loved him enough to want that) and hes told me that I "bombard him with my American values," told me, "to hell with you and what you think," and now, "go fuck yourself." Seems like it's going from bad to worse doesn't it?

I have a young son and the last thing I want is for him to be around some guy that would say those things to me and probably to him. Once a threshold is crossed then it's like all boundaries become null and void, everything and everyone can be under attack at any given moment. He said that and it's like it became solidified in my mind that we really weren't meant to be together. He then tries to make excuses for his behaviour, essentially that I made him react the way he did. That's a bullshit excuse and he knows it. I'm not even going to reply to that; it's not worth my time. So I've spent the good part of the evening clearing out my tear ducts so they're nice and clean. Now it's really just the closing paragraph: the closing of a close friendship, the closing of a true love, the closing of a hopeful future. It's now just closed.