End

"So, what happened?"

"She told me I had to make up my mind. Not be so indecisive...if I wanted to be with you then great, if not, then I had to tell you and just end it."

"Well, she's right. If she made up her mind to talk to you, I'm glad what she had to say is true."

"Yeah..."

"Yeah. So...what did you decide?"

"What did I decide?"

"Yes. Is this worth it? Do you want to be with me or not?"

"I don't know."

"Oh God..."

Oh my God. I'm going to cry. I'm actually going to cry. This is pathetic. I knew this was coming and yet I want to cry...again. TV...look at the TV...news, focus on the news. This is rediculous, how can he not know if he actually wants to be with me? I think that's a fairly simple question with a simple answer: yes or no. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

"Well, what do you think? What do you want?"

"What I think or want is irrelevant at this point. If you don't want to be with me, whatever I say won't matter. It takes two to tango so if you're not going to be in this relationship, my thoughts don't matter."

"God, I don't know if I'm making the right decision."

"The right decision? Which is what? You're staying or leaving?"

"I don't know. I'm not good with these things. Maybe we should be just friends. Maybe that would be best for everyone."

Best for everyone as in who? I don't want it to end; you're not sure what the hell you want...so who is this best for exactly?

"Ok. That's all you had to say."

Yeah that's all you had to say because I feel like I'm going to cry and if you keep blabbing about how you're not sure if you're doing the right thing, I probably will cry like the stereotypical girl.

"Well, can we still be friends? I mean, I still want to talk and work out together, I don't want to lose our friendship, I just don't know if a relationship is the best thing. God, I don't know if I'm making the right choice."

So you want you're cake and to eat it too. You want to continue on like everything is ok, like everything is the same, only without the relationship part. You want me to be there for you, to talk to you, work out with you, bring you coffee, only you don't owe any commitment to me. That's just great.

"Well the choice is made; you don't have to worry about that anymore but yes, we can be friends."

We can be friends because it's hard for me to lose someone all of the sudden and at this point, I'm still getting free training so why not? Now I can go home and cry because this whole thing was completely pointless. Why have a relationship with me and lead me so far only to end it so abruptly and say he wants to be "just friends." Blah.