Ex-friends

So today I got a call from a friend of mine whom I haven't talked to in a little while. Last time we talked, he claimed I was just all that and told me he saw a long term future with me and wanted to know if he had a shot with me. I found that interesting seeing as we hadn't talked in a little while and I know he at least had been dating casually. I wasn't quite sure what to say so, as gently as possible, I told him I liked him as a friend but that was it. I wondered if he would be able to accept that and remain just friends or if he would fade away and no longer talk to me. Some can't remain "just friends" and I can accept that. When I saw him calling on my phone I thought that was a good sign; we could be friends and he had gotten over the rejection.



He told me he was just bored and thought he'd give me a call to see what I was doing. I told him nothing overly interesting but that I did have good news; I told him that I had just gotten the papers today from my attorney saying child support will be starting for my son in about a week. I am in desperate need of the money and was thrilled at the amount. So I told A my good news and he didn't take it at all like I expected. All of my other friends have been very supportive, saying go after the SOB. A on the other hand, proceeded to berate me and essentially tell me how awful I was being.



He said I was being awful for making him pay so much a month (around 360) and that I shouldn't be so hard on the guy who had given me the greatest joy in my life. I said yes, he had a part in that, but that greatest joy isn't cheap. So he asked me how much my son could really cost each month. I told him child support doesn't just cover the exact amount of clothes or diapers but is the overall care of the child. Child support goes towards the house, you know, providing a roof, air, water, electricity, food, diapers, clothes, time and gas for doctors appointments etc. He just couldn't grasp the concept and kept repeating how unfair I was being. I said welcome to life: it isn't fair.



Then, my favourite excuse: he's young and scared. I about flipped out on the phone. That was the same excuse his mother had given me last year as to why he hadn't bothered providing anything for his child or even telling his side of the family until I was nearly 7 months pregnant. So to hear A telling me the exact same thing, I just couldn't believe it. I reminded him that he's nearly a year older than me and somehow I managed to tell my family AND raise the child for the first year without an ounce of help from him. A just told me that I'm very mature and can't expect him to be the same way. My response: bull crap.



So he then explained how it's essentially all my fault because I should have had the sense to make him wear a condom. After all "guys think with their dicks" so it's up to me to hold their hand and make sure they're doing what they should be. I should also be prepared to accept whoever I have sex with that I could spend the rest of my life with them. I apoligized that my hormones apparently got the best of me and I didn't anticipate pregnancy then decide to go for it anyways. Overall, it was horrible. I couldn't believe that someone who claimed to be my friend would so berrate me and then take the side of the nitwit. That put him even lower than nitwit in my mind. I was getting very upset and finally told him I had to go and hung up. Needless to say, we won't be talking again. Originally I wasn't planning on ever talking to him but I figure if he calls or writes, I'll respond and tell him why we won't be friends. I can't be friends with someone who would defend a dead beat dad...especially when they claim to be my friend. So yeah, it was lovely and I was very upset. Still, my mom reminded me that he's simply showing me who he is and it's better I find out now rather than later. With friends like him, who needs enemies?