Doing the Unthinkable

I have now done something I never thought I would do in my entire life. I am actually connecting with the other side of my family. I was raised by a single mother, haven't seen my father, Tom, since I was about 3 (latest), and never heard from any other family members. Then, just a few weeks ago my sister called me and said that my cousin, Sarah, was looking for me via myspace but couldn't find me so she contacted her. Quite honestly, the first thoughts that passed through my brain were not of joy and excitement that some member of my family was actually interested, it was of shock and caution, a "what does Tom want now??" kind of feeling. Frankly, I was rather worried because I could see no good coming from anyone in that family. From what Ariel (my sister) told me, she seemed genuine and I decided to give it a go, meanwhile my mom cautions me about what Tom might be up to, I tell her not to worry because I already thought about that. :)

I did contact her through myspace and I must say, I have been truly surprised and really enjoying it. Sarah is married and expecting her first child. I did tell her some of my worries regarding the situation but she explained everything to me and said Tom knew nothing of our contact. She has been so incredibly sweet and I genuinely enjoy talking to her. I found out we even go to the same vet! How crazy is that?! I have probably passed her a few time because we are up there quite a bit with so many dogs and I wouldn't even know. lol So through her I also met her youngest sister who is just slightly older than me. Sarah has explained the family tree to me and even sent me a picture. I saw the first picture of Tom that I've seen since I was a little kid. Not quite what I imagined but I guess people can change a lot in about 15 years! So I told Sarah she could share our relationship with whomever she felt comfortable (mainly her parents and sisters) but that I would be very frank with her, I had no desire to be in contact with Tom. I don't think he'd want it anyways but I just wanted to put that out there to end any hopes or suspicions. So there it is, I never thought I would ever know any part of that family and yet here I am! I know I will eventually meet Sarah and her sisters, I would actually like to do that sooner rather than later, but I have to wonder if I will come face to face with Tom. Undoubtedly if our relationship stays open I know the rest of the family will be curious (at least based off what she's said) and then I will see him. I wonder what it will be like for us facing each other. Me, looking at a man that I have no respect for and have for almost 18 years referred to as just "Tom" and say hes really just a sperm donor; and with him having to stand there at look at his own flesh and blood that he has ignored for so long and missed out on so much. Will it be awkward or something mundane like a business meeting? eh for now I don't have to worry about it, I just wonder. I'm just happy to finally know something about the other side of my family!